The recent Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council Finance and Misappropriation Committee meeting saw Squire Teflon finally get a member of the Illiberal Party into a position of power on SaD TC. Sadly for the Squire it wasn’t himself.
The first matter on the agenda for discussion was the selection of a new Vice-Chair for the Committee and a discussion took place with two names thrown into the ring.
Chair Banish Barracuda proposed that fellow BeFuddled Cllr Al Hayrick be given the job whispering “I know that errrm the majority of SaD BeFuddled errrm Councillors would struggle to find a errrrm seat in a game of errrrm Musical Chairs, but Cllr errrrm Hayrick has done an errrrm excellent job as Chair of the errrrm Planning and Scheming Committee and I errrrm think he would errrrm make a very errrrm good Vice errrrm Chair.“
However, Squire Teflon disagreed “He may be quite good at chairing Planning, but what is needed here is someone who has the ability to use a calculator. We all know that there are only two people in this room who understand and can produce over- complicated pie charts – one of them being the Chair and the other being Cllr Al de Values.
Therefore I would like to propose my fellow Illiberal Party member Cllr de Values for the position of Vice Chair.“
With both proposals receiving the required seconder it was put to the vote.
Unfortunately for Cllr Barracuda, Cllr Robb Apprentice-Candlestick Maker had been kept behind after school after failing his spelling test during which he had struggled to distinguish the difference between ‘licence’ and ‘license’, so only Deputy Dictators Sherry and Knickers were on hand to support Cllr Hayrick’s nomination.
Despite In it For Himself Party member Robert NotBothered being awarded the position of SaD Deputy Mayor by the BeFuddleds in an attempt to keep him onside, Cllr NotBothered showed his true colours by voting with Illiberal Party members Teflon, Facelift and Staring, giving Cllr de Values one more vote than Cllr Hayrick.
Cllr Al deValues was duly voted in as vice chair, the first Illiberal Party member to be given a proper job on SaD Town Council since April 2022.