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Squire Teflon has hit out again at the BeFuddled Party controlled Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council and the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council.
“Smalltown is looking terrible. When are they going to sort out all the long grass?
It’s a health and safety issue now. The long grass on the verges is making my life very difficult as it is stopping me cutting across to deliver my papers. I used to be able to park my bicycle at the kerb outside the house I was delivering to and nip across the grass to get to the front door, but now I have to either fight my way through a jungle or go round the verge to get to the footpath.
The length of the grass on the corners of road junctions is also creating blind spots for motorists, every time I go out on my bicycle on my paper round on behalf of my close-friend and employer, Mistress Bones, I take my life into my hands. It is only a matter of time before someone knocks me off because they couldn’t see my cycling around the corner.
It has been excuse after excuse with these BeFuddleds. We had ‘Just Leave It January’, ‘F*ck Mowing February’, ‘More Thinking Needed March’, ‘Anyone Got Any Ideas April’, and ‘No Mow May’. What excuse will they come up with next? ‘Not Just Yet June’, ‘Jungle July’, ‘Abstain August’, and ‘Sorry We Can’t Afford To Cut Grass September’.
This needs to be sorted out now, before I have an accident.”
Responding to the Squire’s concerns BeFuddled Party SaD Town Councillor Banish Barracuda said “I am not sure if grass cutting is the responsibility of the Town Council or the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council, both Councils have been trying to locate a lawnmower, so far without success.
However, I can confirm that the SaD BeFuddled Party will be holding a meeting with our ANYUSCC colleagues to discuss the issue at some point in the future. Or never.”