Squire Teflon has launched a blistering attack on the BeFuddled Party Councillors, accusing them of “ruining MY town“
In a late night Albanian Whiskey fuelled rant sent through on the SomersetClive fax machine Teflon said “When the BeFuddleds said we are going green on the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council, I didn’t expect that to mean we’d be paying more for less.
What have the BeFuddleds ever done for us? In 35 years I have never seen this town neglected in such a way.
No grass cutting. No tree work, no hedging
Just two of MY town rangers are doing more than the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council.”
(Ed – Ah, I see his mistake there. Squire Teflon thought the same as a lot of people, we all thought the BeFuddleds ‘being green’ meant environmentally friendly and ecologically awate, not that they were going to be green behind the ears.)
After several more swigs of whiskey the Squire expanded his rant by posting on his AceCrook page “The basic of basic of things are not being done. No drainage. No grass cutting. No pot holes repaired until it’s too late. It’s all short term savings at long term costs.”
Lady Brassy of Easton-under-Water, herself no stranger to a late night tipple, took the bait and replied “They only repair potholes because enough of us dutifully road tax paying sorts are now aware that putting a claim in against them will end up in them paying out!
Basic economics: The contractual ‘service agreement’ IS: We agree to pay road tax .. in return for serviceable roads to drive upon’ in short .. roads that will not absolutely feck my cars suspension.”
Teflon, no doubt as befuddled by her reply as we were, then accused Lady Brassy of being a BeFuddled Party member.
This led to Lady Brassy posting an even more confusing response “As you well know I lay absolutely NO allegiance to any one party .. in my, possibly quite insular evaluation and very less, even, often offered publically sounded opinion, each party have their strengths whilst some suffer far less ‘well judgement’ than the other(s)
Tbf I thoroughly enjoy a 3.2 petrol car .. but that’s not to say I fail to find Green Party views SOMETIMES entirely within my own understanding .. and that’s probably the dichotomy for too many of us
As one brought up in the 80’s, exposed to the idea of self employment, in view of absolute self reliance .. and property ownership .. in order that I WOULD achieve absolute independant wellbeing for the family I might go on to build in that future , Finding where we are now .. it’s a bit of a kick in the ass tbh.. because whilst once Capitalising on opportunity offered, via the system, was the way to go .. the, apparently same party, by name at least, that encouraged such behaviour are now kicking us ‘capatalists’ FIRM in the ass!
There’s NO safe space for any one of ‘us’ to vote for these days .. those still taking time to vote do so for the party they presume less evil
The worst part about all of this
‘Support One Particular party Bullsh*t’ is that they use, and then all too often leave their compadres , the honest, genuine well meaning souls .. daring to put themselves out there whilst working like Trojan’s in order to rally support for the party they stand for locally … to deal with the fall out when it goes wrong ..Up On High”
Teflon, no doubt now even more confused, changed the subject. “I would like to live in a descent town. And area. Our area is not important to anybody any more. Sad state of affairs.”
(Ed – I don’t understand his point. He does live in a descent Town. Smalltown IS descending fast.)
“We are the main tourist areas in Somerset. Total neglect. Lack of thought. All you BeFuddleds do is think and talk about things. You don’t seem to realise that some of our livelihoods, including that of my close-friend and employer Mistress Bones, survive on tourism. Such a shame there are so many people that do not realise that.”
The Squire then appealed directly to Cllr Banish Barracuda saying “You need to get a grip. I used to have a very strong grip on this town, but ever since you lot moved into MY Hayloft Road Palace and prised the keys out of my hands I’ve had to stand by and watch you ruin MY town by your inactivity. Please sort it out. And stop mucking about with MY White Elephant Enclosure.”
SomersetClive asked Councillor Barracuda if he would like to respond to Squire Teflon’s accusations, but a spokesperson told us” “I’m sorry, he’s really busy thinking about things at the moment. As soon as he’s finished thinking he will get back you. One day. Never.”