Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council will tonight select the person who will be the SaD Mayor for the next year.
We’ve asked World-famous, award-winning Physiotherapist and Shaman Psychedelic Smalltown’s very own Mystic Mick for some insight into who will lift the crown.
Staring at a stain on the wall in the middle distance Mystic began to sway dangerously back and forth whilst emitting a low rumbling sound which seemed to eminate from deep within his stomach.
Suddenly sitting bolt upright Mystic said “I can feel my Japanese spirit guide Hero Shima entering me now. He comes bearing news.
He says the current Mayor is Dictator Kelsey Dullard and her Deputy Mayors are Deputy Dictators Knickers and Sherry. Any one of the three could be announced as the new Mayor, as often the Deputy Mayor is the Mayor-in-Waiting.
Hero Shima is now showing me a vision of the council chambers at the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others). There looks to be a few councillors missing and some of the others are asleep. Dictator Dullard must have given her Mayor’s report already.
Ah, now she’s telling us that the next item in the agenda is choosing a Mayor. Oh, that’s strange, she has announced that unfortunately she’s forgotten to bring the Mayoral Chain of Office to the meeting.
Deputy Dictator Sherry is asking what that means. The Smalltown Administration Guru, Katie Global, is opening her mouth to answer. Oh dear. Now she’s rubbing her shin. It looks as if Dictator Dullard may have kicked her.
Dictator Dullard is speaking again. She’s telling everyone that if she doesn’t have the Mayoral Chain of Office with her then she can’t possibly hand it over to a successor, so she is going to have to be the Mayor for another year.
She is now addressing each Councillor in turn and asking them to publicly pledge their allegiance to her. They are all too scared to say anything other than yes.
The picture is getting hazy now, but I believe it is safe to say that Dictator Dullard will continue to be the Mayor of Smalltown and Dullbridge for another year“
There you have it folks, Mystic Mick is predicting that Dictator Dullard will continue to ignore the views of the electorate and make the decisions that she thinks best, as well as continuing to give those eternally long lectures about herself for another 12 months.