End of Term Report

As the BeFuddled Party celebrate their first full year of being in control of Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council and taking up residence at the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others), SomersetClive has managed to obtain copies of SaD Headmistress Cllr Kelsey Dullard’s End of Term Reports and will be bringing them to you over the next few weeks.

With ten of the 18 councillors being absolute beginners and the other eight not having much of a clue either, and after the mass exodus of staff at the beginning of the year, just how well have the SaD Councillors done?

Cllr Robb Apprentice-Candlestick Maker – BeFuddled Party.

Robb has tried quite hard this term, but I know he finds it difficult to find the time to be a proper Councillor alongside his schoolwork.

The timing of the school bus sometimes means that he is late for meetings. He has also missed several meetings because his mum has insisted he must finish his tea before she will give him a lift in the car.

He’s done some great work on his proposal for Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council to build council houses for the homeless and we haven’t yet had the heart to tell him there’s no budget for this.

I am told that now and again he does some extra homework on social media, but I cannot confirm this because I don’t know anything about social media. However, he has received pats on the head for this work from both Deputy Dictator Sherry and Head of Mathematics, Cllr Banish Barracuda.

Sadly his 46% attendance record (8 out of a possible 17 meetings attended) does leave a lot to be desired and he hasn’t had much of an impact on the meetings that he has attended.

He is on the WEE committee, despite being far too young to have any business experience, or indeed, experience of any kind.

I am yet to see him make any meaningful contribution during a meeting and that is possible why he has never appeared on Media Tycoon Mike Maxman’s news website. However, he is always eager to vote whichever way Deputy Director Sherry tells him to.

Effort: 1/10
Achievement: 0/10
Conclusion: To be honest with you, Robb is a waste of space as a Councillor, lacking life, work or business experience. As such, his only purpose is to make up the BeFuddled Party numbers. I would suggest he tries harder, but believe that this is beyond his capabilities. His only plus point is that by our having him on our Council we are able to lower the average age of SaD Town Councillors from 94 to 49.

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