After high winds forced the organisers of last month’s Smalltown Small Town Small Market to cancel the event at the last minute, the Smalltown Small Town Small Market will return to the town’s Main Street today.
The market, famous for being the smallest Smalltown Small Town Small Market in the world, will see the main shopping area closed to traffic in order to be able to accommodate the small number of traders. A 94 mile diversion route will be in operation and residents are advised to avoid the area unless they wish to purchase cake, pork or jam.
There’s good news for cheese lovers too, as the Cheese stall will return, bringing the total of traders at the Smalltown Small Town Small Market to 11.
Many years ago, Dullbridge used to play host to a very popular Small Town Big Market, which attracted vast crowds to the town centre and it has been suggested that a return for the Small Town Big Market would be welcomed.
Indeed, as part of her election campaign, Squire Teflon’s close-friend and employer Mistress Bones pledged to look into the possibility of moving the Smalltown Small Town Small Market to Dullbridge, where it would not affect her sales figures.
However, much like her electoral hopes this plan has died a death, with none of the current Dullbridge councillors willing to take on the project.