Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Headmistress, Mayor and Dictator Councillor Kelsey Dullard was said to be ‘incandescent with rage’ yesterday after discovering that Smalltown has held a St George’s Day Parade through the town in previous years.
Our source said “She was incandescent with rage after spotting photographs of a previous St George’s Day Parade on social media. She was demanding to know why nobody had told her about the tradition and why no one had organised one for this year.
Obviously, she didn’t know about the previous parades herself, because she lives in Bedmore and so isn’t local. The Smalltown Administration Guru, Katie Global, also doesn’t live locally, so wouldn’t know either.
The blame is now being laid solely at the door of the Smalltown and Dullbridge Smalltown Administration Deputy (SADSAD), Eileen Mutton.”
Dictator Dullard is understood to be dismayed at missing out on the opportunity to walk the streets of Smalltown with a brass band, dragon and scores of schoolchildren trailing along behind her.
Our source continued “As you know Dictator Dullard loves being the centre of attention and absolutely hates missing out on any photo opportunity. I really wouldn’t want to be in SADSAD Eileen Mutton shoes this morning when Dictator Dullard gets into the Staff Room at the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others).
Eileen lives in Smalltown, so must have known about the traditional St George’s Day Parade. Dictator Dullard is going to be questioning her very closely about why she didn’t mention it. Dictator Dullard will be expecting a grovelling apology before Eileen finds herself on the ‘Employee of the Month’ notice board in the staff room again. Dictator Dullard hates mistakes.
Eileen is really going to have to pull out all the stops – making sure her pencil case is fully stocked and that her uniform is neatly ironed and conforms to SaD standards – if she wants to be forgiven for this monumental mistake any time soon.“