Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council has confirmed that free cups of tea will be available during their…sorry, not theirs… the Annual Towns Meeting tonight.
A formal invitation to the event which is to be held at Porland Community Hub in Dullbridge has been issued by Headmistress, Mayor and Dictator Cllr Kelsey Dullard.
Dictator Dullard said “Because none of you bothered to turn up to my recent Meet the Mayor Drop-out Events in Smalltown and Dullbridge, I am delighted to invite you all to my… I mean… our…no…YOUR Annual Towns Meeting where you will have another opportunity to meet me and the other lovely Councillors who make up SaD Town Council.
I will be delivering my annual report, which you will be delighted to hear I have cut down to include only 174 mentions of the word “lovely”, 136 “wonderful’s”, 122 “I was pleased to attend’s” and only 122 “It was good to’s”, which means that my report will only last for one hour and 37 minutes.
Anyone who manages to stay the course, without falling asleep, will be rewarded with a cup of lovely tea and a wonderful signed photograph of me.”
It is understood that SaD Town Council are also hoping that a report from Somerset Police will be included as part of the meeting, but this is dependent on someone being able to find a Police Officer, or a Police Community Support Officer, or the Dog Warden to deliver it.
There will also be an opportunity for residents to ask questions, but Dictator Dullard has asked if people could keep the questions simple.
Pre-approved sample questions provided by SaD Town Council include:-
- What is the Mayor’s favourite brand of tea?
- If I have £5 in my pocket, how much of it should I give to the White Elephant Enclosure?
- Where is Squire Teflon?
- Will Councillor Captain Rum ever speak? (Requires a Yes/No answer)
- What colour is grass?
- What’s the Mayor’s top tip for being recognised in photos?
- Do any Town Councillors know where Dullbridge is? (Requires a Yes/No answer)