Smalltown and Dullbridge residents have reacted with incredulity to the news that Smaltown and Dullbridge Town Council plan to move from a decrepit building to a derelict one and to resurrect the idea of the Smalltown Culture, Recreation and Pleasure Palace (SCRAPP).
“Seriously? They think a good use of Council Tax Payer’s money would be to take on a derelict building which has lain empty for over five years and is no doubt riddled with damp?”, commented Mr Arnold Dingy of Mildew Mansions. “They need their heads examined.”
“I couldn’t believe what I was reading this morning. I had to check the date because I though April 1st had come early.” said Andy Gripe. “Does this Town Council really believe that residents will be happy at the suggestion that they foot the bill to purchase and maintain another building in White Elephant Street, when the one they already have has sees so little action?”
Mrs Doris Crumb kept it short “They are all mad. They should purchase an asylum.”
In Chateau Park we spoke to a gang of youths to gauge their interest in a Culture, Recreation and Pleasure Palace (CRAPP)
“Culcher? What’s that then? Only culcher we are interested in is culchering cannabis.” said Iaint Givinumynane
“They can keep their la-de-dah opra, balleh and paintins. They keep banging on about the youth in Smalltown and Dullbridge and trying to encourage our voices. So why can’t we have a Graffiti, Hip-Hop, Entertainment, Tripping and Tattooing Opportunity (GHETTO) instead?” suggested Iaint Either.
Former Councillor Fencesitter couldn’t help himself and became embroiled in the discussion. “If you read through the 994 pages of the Neighbourhood Flan What I Wrote and the BeFuddled Party Election Manifesto What I also Wrote, you will see that both mention the idea of a Culture, Recreation and Pleasure Palace (CRAPP).
You all voted for members of the BeFuddled Party and it’s not my fault if you did that because you couldn’t take any more of Squire Teflon’s Illiberal policies, rather than because you agreed with what I was suggesting. Saying you put the leaflet straight into the bin is no defence.
The BeFuddleds can now do as I want and if I want a CRAPP I’ll have one. I don’t care how much of a waste of money it is.
I promised you all the biggest CRAPP ever and that’s what you are going to get.”