Birthday celebration

An old person in Smalltown has celebrated being one year older.

Dolores Splott, a resident at the Smalltown Home for Old People, celebrated with cards and a cake and SomersetClive popped along to join in with the fun.

Eyeing us suspiciously, Mrs Splott said “Who are you and what do you want? You’ll have to speak up. I’m 194, you know.

We asked Mrs Splott to share her secret of longevity and she told us “I’m 194 you know. My secret? I’m not telling you. It won’t be a secret if I tell you. Nurse? Nurse! Who are these people? I’m 194 you know.”

Looking furtively around the room Mrs Splott whispered to us “Can you get me out of here? I don’t like it. I’m surrounded by old people. I don’t like old people. I’m 194 you know.

And please don’t tell that Mayor that I’m having a tea party. I don’t want her turning up and drinking all the tea.”

We promised Mrs Splott that we wouldn’t breathe a word to the Smalltown and Dullbridge Headmistress and Mayor, and left Mrs Splott to enjoy her cards and cake without the unwanted attention of Cllr. Dullard.

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