Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Councillors last night voted unanimously to unsave the tree which had previously been saved from death by a group of local residents led by Smaltown Ecological Warrior, Scrumpy.
The tree, on the corner of Vicarage and Barrow Road, has managed to survive more years of Illiberal Party rule than any other living thing in the area, but is due to be felled by the BeFuddled Party as part of their Climate Rescue Action Plan.
The All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council’s Branch Holder for Trees, Pete Bitterman, had attempted to remove the tree when he thought no one was looking and was extremely annoyed to discover a group of residents had tied themselves to the tree on the morning if the planned removal to save it from destruction.
Speaking at the time, Mr Bitterman said “After many years with no maintenance from my department this tree is now in a dangerous state and needs to be removed immediately.”
In a letter to Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council Mr Bitterman restated his intention to remove the tree telling Councillors “Given that local residents are not democratically elected nor accountable it is your job to control them. This tree can either be removed as per my wishes or SaD Town Council can pay the maintenance costs, because the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council isn’t going to.”
Addressing Councillors during the SaD Town Council Full Council meeting last night, Headmistress Councillor Kelsey Dullard said “I recently attended a lovely meeting with Mr Bitterman, All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council leader Cllr Phil Crivens, and a single resident to discuss the future of the tree and during that meeting we all agreed that the tree should not be saved.
I come to this meeting tonight having prejudged the matter and I fully expect everyone here to agree with me. Otherwise you will all find yourselves in detention.
I am hopeful that we may be able to spend some time thinking about creating a wildlife haven somewhere, sometime, never.
This Council is dedicated to meeting with residents to ascertain their opinions on things that matter to them. That is why I totally ignored the local Save Our Tree Protest Group and didn’t ask any of them for their opinions, nor did I believe it was necessary to invite them to this clandestine meeting which was held in secret behind closed doors.”
Our BeFuddled Party Leader Cllr Crivens is a lovely man and his secretary makes a wonderful cup of tea, so I was delighted to be able to make him happy by agreeing with everything he said.”
A report prepared by an independent tree specialist had recommended that a new tree be planted nearby and the old tree be maintained to extend its life, giving the new tree a chance to get established. Mr Bitterman estimated that this would cost in the region of £10,000 and had suggested that SaD Town Council pay for this.
However, Councillors decided that this would not be a good use of council funds as £10,000 could be better spent on keeping the White Elephant Enclosure open for three weeks.