Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council last night voted to increase Council Tax by 7% from April, with nine councillors voting in favour, five abstaining and four not bothering to turn up.
Cllr Banish Barracuda, Head of Mathematics at the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others) said it had been a “tough decision but we really didn’t know what else to do.”
Cllr Barracuda continued to whisper “Maths is a very tricky subject involving adding up and taking away, and it can be very difficult to get the answers right. We’ve had to add up a lot of numbers and then take them away from the number we first thought of and it can be hard to get the right balance.
Lots of things have gone up in price, energy costs for example, not just for the Town council but also for the residents, so it’s only fair that residents contribute more to help us out of this mess.
We need to recognise that each area of the budget has been reviewed by the relevant committee and those committees have taken a prudent and sensible approach to their recommendations. Apart from the White Elephant Enclosure Mismanagement Committee, who put in a request for £1 from every £5 to cover the ever increasing costs of running the place.
To cover the full costs of the WEE we would have needed to increase Council Tax by 20%, that is clearly unacceptable, so instead we will need to take money from the SaD Town Council Post Office savings account. We aren’t getting a very good rate of interest on that, so using that money will spare us from going to the trouble of seeking professional financial advice.
We have budgeted to take around £94,000 from our savings account, which would leave us with enough money to cover our operating costs for around four months in the event of an emergency and that is within the range of what is considered acceptable.”
Councillors who abstained during Monday’s vote were Squire Teflon, his fellow Illiberal councillors Julie Slurry, Catty Staring and Al DeValues, together with BeFuddled Councillor Captain Rum who later admitted that he “didn’t really understand what I was voting for. It’s all very complicated and I found it difficult to follow..”.
Squire Teflon explained why he had abstained: “I can’t vote for this increase. I think taking £94,000 out of our savings account is worrying. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. To get that back next year is going to need an incredible increase in council tax. I’m sure there were other options and I think they could have been looked at closer. I don’t know what the other options could be, and it’s not my job to help you out. That’s the reason.
I know none of you BeFuddleds have any idea about how to run a council, so you probably don’t know that most councils prefer to have six months operating figures. Leaving only four might be okay, but how are you going to get that £94,000 back?”
Cllr Barracuda responded: “Squire, I understand what you are saying. We were trying to find a balance between managing the fact that everyone is seeing an increase in the cost-of-living and so Council Tax rises are the last thing anyone wants to see while maintaining services. If you and your fellow members of the WEE Management Committee had worked harder to minimise the loss and increase income then we wouldn’t have found ourselves in this situation.
As it is, it is entirely coincidental that the amount we need to take from our savings is exactly the same amount that we spend on salaries for the WEE staff – so that’s a possible saving right there.”
Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council is still waiting for the promised full business plan from the White Elephant Enclosure which may offer some suggestions as to how the Mismanagement Committee aim to reduce costs and increase revenue. But then again, it probably won’t.
Meanwhile, it has been confirmed that the 7% increase in council tax is the highest in history.