Incomer almost ‘shocked to death’

An incomer who attended a local traditional Wassup event has told how they were almost shocked to death as proceedings unfolded on Saturday night.

An eyewitness to the horror confirmed “We knew they weren’t local, because they were wearing jeans and had a copy of the SomersetClive Guide to Wassup tucked under their arm. Plus they kept complaining that the cider tasted ‘rough’.

Having read the article, I do understand why they were so shocked though. It was very shoddy journalism as it didn’t mention the AK-47 rifles which are traditionally fired into the air to scare away evil spirits. So you can see why this couple were so terrified.

The couple, Jimmy and Katy Crud from Wolverhampton, were said to be immensely shocked when they heard the gunfire, with the eyewitness confirming that Mrs Crud fainted on the spot and had to be revived by bystanders, using the traditional Wassup method of slapping her face with slices of toast.

SomersetClive has managed to translate what Jimmy said “We really weren’t expecting that. The last time someone waved a gun around in my local the armed response unit came and took them away.

Not only that, but there were Morris Dancers. It’s going to take us a long time to recover from the horror.”

SomersetClive would like to issue an apology to any other readers who were similarly unprepared for either guns or Morris Dancing.

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