Squire Teflon has laid the blame for his unpopularity squarely at the door of local news outlets.
Writing in ‘Chair‘, the story of life on the campaign trail in 2022, the Squire says “It’s not so long ago that I could be guaranteed positive news coverage in the Smalltown and Dullbridge Weekly Snooze. Every week my name and face would appear within the pages with details of my latest daring deeds and dastardly endeavours. But that all changed a few years ago and now I can go for months without even the merest whiff of a mention.
However, it is Smalltown Media Tycoon Mike Maxman who really incurs the Squire’s wrath. “I lay the blame for me losing my chairs firmly at his door. His website pages constantly contain content which shows me in my true colours:- Squire Teflon is a bully. Squire Teflon is a clown, Squire Teflon shouldn’t be a Councillor, Squire Teflon and Mistress Bones – a conflict of interest, Squire Teflon spends Council money as if it’s his own. I’ve been blamed for everything and none of it is my fault.
It got so bad that I’ve had to have several words with him and have had to bully him into removing every comment that depicts me in a negative light. That’s why his website now has so few pages.
You never seem to see any of these vile comments directed at Jock McCads, do you? You have to wonder why that is. Is it because he doesn’t do anything or because he has Mike Maxman in his back pocket?
People seem to have forgotten all the wonderful things that I’ve personally done for Smalltown. Getting the huge amount of funding from Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council to bring my close-friend and employer Mistress Bones’ vision for her World-record beating Olympic-Sized Ice Rink to life, stopping an idea for an Intergalactic MarketFair on the seafront which would take trade from her Newspaper and Tat Emporium, saving the WEE so that SaDTC could squander almost a million pounds of tax payers cash on it, overseeing the appointment of the Smalltown Centre Manager and then undermining her at every opportunity so that she was unable to do her job – goodness the list is endless and yet I rarely get the credit for any of it.
However, Squire Teflon had nothing but praise for one particular publication. “Of course, I’ve never had any problems with any of the coverage that I get in SomersetClive. That’s real journalism for you. The journalists there are very fair and always report the truth.”
‘Chair‘ is available to purchase from G.W.Hurlings and the Newspaper and Tat Emporium, however, anyone who receives a newspaper delivery from either of these establishments is warned that a FREE copy will be included with their delivery on Sunday.