During Monday’s Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council Finance and Misappropriation Committee meeting at the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others) BeFuddled Party members were left looking like the villains of the piece by Squire Teflon after they voted to propose to increase council tax by 7%.
Whispering to the attendees Chairman Cllr Banish Barracuda said “This has been a very difficult budget. Not only have we had to include extra money to cover rising costs in energy and inflation, but we’ve also been asked by Squire Teflon and the WEE Mismanagement Committee to spend more on the White Elephant Enclosure.
We have four options before us. The first is not to increase council tax at all, but to use the money we hold in reserve to cover the extra costs. The worst scenario is to raise council tax by 20%, which would entirely cover the increased budget. The other two options before you are an increase of either 5% or 10%, both of these options would involve drawing down money from our savings account to cover the difference.
Therefore I propose that we increase the amount payable by residents to an additional 7%.”
The increase has been wholly incurred by the increased budget for the White Elephant Enclosure which was approved on the advice of SquireTeflon by Cllrs. Sherry, Not-Bothered, McCads and Rabbithole.
However, during the budget proposal vote Squire Teflon, Cllrs Facelift and Not-Bothered abstained from voting, with Squire Teflon saying “This increase is preposterous. The electorate simply can’t afford to be spending money they can’t afford on things they don’t use. It’s not fair on them and I can’t support this proposal, even though it’s down to me that it’s necessary.”
Fellow Illiberal Party member, Fridgpond resident and professional Councillor Mark Facelift agreed saying “When we were in charge of the budget last year we agreed not to increase council tax at all, because it was an election year and doing so would have harmed our chances of getting re-elected.”
Cllr. Robert Not-Bothered who, although elected as an In-It-For-Himself candidate is married to Sadgebore Illiberal Party Councillor Jane Not-Bothered, also agreed saying “My wife tells me that I need to side with her fellow Illiberal Party members on this, because it will help make the BeFuddleds look bad. I know I agreed that we need to increase spending on the WEE, knowing full well that members of my Dullbridge constituency can’t afford to visit it nor pay for any extra council tax, but it’s really important to score political points at a time like this.”
Cllr Barracuda responded “It is entirely possible that we can identify savings over the course of the year – by not replacing the Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager or by giving the WEE to someone else to run for example – but we do need to set a budget now so have no option but to include those costs currently. If there are any savings to be made on the WEE we can use the money to the benefit of future years.”
Speaking outside Hayloft Road Palace after the meeting Squire Teflon could barely contain his glee as he said” Those BeFuddleds fell for it didn’t they? Hook, line and sinker! I gave them absolutely no choice but to make the residents unhappy with an increase in Council Tax. I’ve forced them into shelling out on increased costs for the WEE, knowing full well that it would lead to this.
My cunning plan to scare people into believing that without extra funding the WEE would close has worked like a dream. They had to do something to cover those costs, although I personally couldn’t agree to the increase in council tax because that would make me look bad. Instead I’ve come out of this looking like a saint.”
The proposed increase will now be taken to the SaDTC full town council meeting for final approval.