Smalltown renowned psychedelic Mystic Mick continues with his look at what is in store for residents of Smalltown and Dullbridge in 2023. For part two Mr Mystic has put his runes aside and instead has consulted with some used tea bags he found in Headmistress and Town Mayor Kelsey Dullard’s dustbin.
April
Residents celebrate as Sadgebore District Council ceases to exist on April Fool’s Day. It later becomes apparent that hopes that the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council would improve the lives of residents was just one big joke.
The White Elephant Enclosure announces a full schedule of events with something on every night of the month.
May
Mistress Bones and Lady Brassy’s Smalltown Shops (SS) groups Commemorative Coronation Celebratory Cake Cavalcade fails to attract a single visitor or resident to Smalltown Main Street, with everyone (including Main Street shop owners) preferring to mark the occasion by watching the ceremony at home on their television sets. Mountains of free (but not really free) cake are sent to land fill.
Cllr. Rob Apprentice-Candlestick Maker sits his Key Stage 2 Standardised Assessment Tests (SATS) and eagerly awaits his results. He blames his absence from SaD Town Council meetings on the need to revise.
The first of a hoard of ‘Welcome to Sadgebore’ signs will fail to sell on popular auction site oBay.
June
Another Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Councillor resigns, claiming that they “didn’t expect to get elected”, “only stood for election as a joke” and “didn’t realise I would be expected to attend meetings.” Squire Teflon will once again propose that his close-friend and employer Mistress Bones be invited to fill it.
Mistress Bones fails in her attempt to win a seat on Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council, with the vacant seat instead given to a homeless person found camping in the car park at Hayloft Road Palace.
The Dullbridge Liberation Front step up their campaign for an independent Dullbridge and propose renaming the town FreeBridge. This leads to confusion amongst residents who believe someone is planning to give the bridge away.