CliveNation in conjunction with SomersetClive is proud to present the Christmas Pantomime, with an all-star cast and seats more comfortable than those at the White Elephant Enclosure, we invite you to join us for an amateur production of the world premiere of The Princess and the Forty Thieves. Showing thrice daily.
Our story opens deep in the heart of Somerset, where the Squire of Teflon rules the sleepy little villages of Smallvillia and Dullford with a rod. Of iron.
The Squire is used to getting his own way and woe-betide anyone who foils his plans for the Squire is not to be crossed.
The Squire purchased a Princess from Baron McGoat for a single gold coin many years ago and since then the villagers of Smallvillia and Dullford have paid through the nose for this folly.
Princess Wranglers have been and gone, trying to tame the Princess and bring her spending under control, but to no avail. What can be done?
Act Two. Scene Six.
Lights go up. Tweedledee (Cllr. Banish Barracuda has replaced the Ice Queen at the top of the table. To his left the Squire of Teflon with two of his cronies – Cllr Al DeValues and Cllr Mark Facelift, the Invisible Man (Cllr. Sven Leftcalm) and to his right the Ice Queen (Cllr Eugenie Sherry), The Merchant of Doom and Gloom (Cllr. Patsy Knickers), Pussy in Cahoots (Cllr. Jock McCads), Wishy-Washy (Cllr. Jim Rabbithole) and Simple Simon (Cllr. Rob Apprentice-CandlestickMaker.
Also in the room is a heavily disguised by an anorak Robyn Hoodie (Ellen Proves), together with Friar Turk (Lex Turk) and a handful of villagers. Tweedledee rises and begins to sing in falsetto.
Tweedledee – So we asked the Princess Management team,
To come up with some sort of scheme,
To make the Princess pay her way.
Well, I’m sorry to have to say
That they haven’t managed to make a dent
In the money they say must be spent.
It seems they didn’t understand
The nature of this simple demand
So I’ll spell it out again
We really need to halt the strain
I must insist upon a plan
To increase usage if we can
Squire (sings also in falsetto) – You must remember she’s been in the tower,
And beyond the reach of the Wrangler’s power.
But our Princess is such an asset,
Her demands simply must be met.
(Villagers boo and hiss)
Dee – I’m afraid we really can’t agree
To another Princess spending spree.
We really need a business plan
And to increase income where we can.
I’m going to use my authority
To insist you make this a priority.
Go away and try once more
Increase income by a score.