CliveNation in conjunction with SomersetClive is proud to present the Christmas Pantomime, with an all-star cast and seats more comfortable than those at the White Elephant Enclosure, we invite you to join us for an amateur production of the world premiere of The Princess and the Forty Thieves. Showing thrice daily.
Our story opens deep in the heart of Somerset, where the Squire of Teflon rules the sleepy little villages of Smallvillia and Dullford with a rod. Of iron.
The Squire is used to getting his own way and woe-betide anyone who foils his plans for the Squire is not to be crossed.
The Squire purchased a Princess from Baron McGoat for a single gold coin many years ago and since then the villagers of Smallvillia and Dullford have paid through the nose for this folly.
Princess Wranglers have been and gone, trying to tame the Princess and bring her spending under control, but to no avail. What can be done?
Act Two. Scene Four.
Stage revolves to reveal the village green.
Robyn Hoodie ( Former Councillor Ellen Proves) appears from behind a tree. She beckons to the villagers, lowers the hood of her anorak and slaps her thigh.
Robyn – People, people gather round
(The villagers move closer)
I wanted to talk to you about our Princess.
(The villagers shake their heads)
How many of you have been granted an audience to see her?
Villager – We can’t. We can’t afford the cost of a golden ticket.
Robyn – That’s my concern. And yet you are all paying for her. It doesn’t seem fair.
Tweedledum (Former Councillor Fencesitter) steps forward – Surely it doesn’t matter if the villagers can’t afford to see the Princess? Isn’t it enough to know that we have a Princess?
Robyn – Not really, no. Look at them all – look how downtrodden they are! Look at their raggedy clothing, and all the time the Princess is sat out of their reach dressed in all her finery. Does that seem fair to you?
Dum – I understand what you are saying, but it was always my father’s dream to own a Princess. Lots of other villages have a Princess. We shouldn’t give up on her now.
Robyn – But she is costing us more and more money every year! And just recently it’s been agreed that we are to pay the salary of an Assistant to the Magnificent Princess Wrangler of the First Order. That’s so unfair.
Dum (sulkily) – Well I like having a Princess in the village.
Robyn – Friar Turk has been doing some sums. Do you know how much owning a Princess has cost is in the ten years she’s been in the village?
Dum – Lalalalala. I can’t hear you. I’ve got my fingers in my ears.
Robyn – Talking to you is pointless. You only hear what you want to hear and disregard the rest.
Robyn slaps her thigh, pulls up her anorak hood and strides purposely off stage.