Rumours abound in Smalltown and Dullbridge that the recent resignation of the Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager (SCAM) is part of a plot cooked up between the SCAM and Squire Teflon.
SomersetClive has spoken to Smalltown All-Seeing-Eye, Mystic Mick to get his insight into the matter.
Polishing off his crystal ball Mystic said “Yes. I think this is last Sunday. I can see the Squire and the SCAM. They have their heads bent closely together and seem to be cooking something up.
Yes!! They have agreed that they need to shaft the BeFuddleds over these recommendations from the Finance and Misappropriation Committee to treble the income at the WEE. Both of them agree that it is impossible.
Ooh. The Squire is suggesting to the SCAM that she proves the point by resigning! Ah. It is Monday now and the SCAM is sending out an email to all the groups that use the WEE telling them that she has resigned. She’s told them that if they want to continue to be able to use the WEE they need to turn up to the meeting on Wednesday and tell everyone what a great shame it is that the SCAM has resigned.
Goodness me, the plot is thickening now. The Squire is suggesting that during the meeting he tells everyone what a marvellous SCAM she has been and that it is completely impossible for her to do what the F&M Committee has asked. They’ve made her position untenable and she’s had no option but to quit.
The SCAM and the Squire seem to have reached an agreement. The Squire will push for the SCAM to receive an apology from Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council. He will remind everyone that she has been the Greatest SCAM ever.
The SCAM is now agreeing that if she receives that apology she will withdraw her resignation on condition that she doesn’t have to try to increase income and can carry on doing whatever it is she does.
It’s getting a bit hazy now, the location has changed. We are now at the BeFuddled Party headquarters where they seem to be trying to decide if they should give in to Squire Teflon and the SCAM’s demands or stand firm in the face of blackmail.
Oh no! My ball has completely clouded over, I can’t see what the BeFuddleds have decided to do. But I can hear Squire Teflon and the SCAM laughing in the background. The Squire is saying “Well done us. We’ve stitched those idiots up like kippers.”.”