Following the Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council White Elephant Enclosure Mismanagement Committee meeting on Wednesday night, Squire Teflon attempted to drown his sorrows in Albanian Whiskey, before taking to AceCrook to vent.
Addressing his first post to the Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager (SCAM) Debby Karmary, the Squire posted “Debby. I am so so sorry. So sorry. I don’t think I’ve ever been sorry about anything before. But I’m so sorry that you have resigned. I’m going to miss you so much. Please don’t leave me.”
Replying to a question posted by one of the Squire’s Harem, who asked “What as happened?” (sic), Squire Teflon said “Debby is leaving me. She was given an ultimatum. Do your job or we…
Threatening behaviour. Very very sad.
They ignored my advice.
And they will get the town they deserve.
Debby. Please don’t leave me. I love you and I’m so sorry.”
In a separate post the Squire lashed out at members of the BeFuddled Party and business tycoon Lex Turkey.
“Creasote? Working parties. Can’t make a decision. When they do it’s the wrong one. Insensitive. I have lost faith in them. I thought I could trust them.”
The Squire then turned his attention to Lex Turkey, who has recently spent time trying to explain basic economics to councillors. “He thinks he has all the answers. He doesn’t. Only I have all the answers. Except I don’t understand the question. It’s MY White Elephant Enclosure. I bought it for a pound.
Just because Lex Turkey is a successful business tycoon it doesn’t mean that he has any idea how to run a business. He is the leader of the Village Idiot Party. He knows nothing. Nothing I tell you.”
Squire Teflon was last seen at lunchtime behind the counter in close-friend and employer Mistress Bones’ Newspaper and Tat Emporium, where he seemed to be nursing a headache.