Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council has confirmed that two of its members possess calculators and will be conducting their own review of Council spending.
Speaking during the recent Town Finance and Misappropriation Committee meeting Head of Mathematics Cllr Banish Barracuda whispered “I’ve noticed a few errors and omissions in the recent accounts and I’d like to suggest that both myself and Illiberal town councillor, Al DeValues, who I believe can also add up and take away, take a look to ensure that the council’s Irresponsible Finance Officer has done her sums correctly.
I have a Casio Scientific calculator, which I’ve owned since 1985. It does require a new battery but I think it still works. I am reliably informed that Cllr deValues has an abacus, so between us we should be able to work something out.“
SaDTC is currently without an Irresponsible Finance Officer, although the Smalltown and Dullbridge Smalltown Administration Deputy (SaDSAD) Eileen Slutton, had been valiently trying, but failing, to make two plus two equal four. It is believed that she has had to return her SaDTC provided calculator, after it emerged that her liberal use of the figure ‘0’ in the expenditure column on the spreadsheet had led to accusations of a cover-up.