The recent Finance and Misappropriation Committee meeting at Hayloft Road Palace saw Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Councillors debate the contentious issue of the budget increase for the White Elephant Enclosure.
Introducing the agenda item Chairman Councillor Banish Barracuda confirmed that the F&M Committee members weren’t being asked to make the decision to approve the budgets, that will be made at a full SaD Town Council meeting in January, but were instead being asked to consider asking the various committees to take another look at the budgets.
He also pointed out that, together with the help of the Smalltown New Administration Guru (SNAG), this is the first time the true income and expenditure streams for the White Elephant Enclosure (WEE) have been shown in their entirity, rather than being clouded by hiding costs under various other expenditure headings and budgets in the accounts, as had been the ploy adopted by the Illiberal Party candidates when they were in charge.
Addressing the meeting Cllr Barracuda said “This is the first time Councillors have been able to look at the figures and understand them. The final lines which show projected expenditure of £249,000 and income of only £49,000 is a bit of a shocker, isn’t it?”
Now that we can see and understand what has been happening in the past we really need to think very carefully about whether we can continue to think about the WEE for another ten years. I know Squire Teflon works tirelessly to tell everyone that he saved the WEE for the nation, but it does appear that the nation isn’t that bothered about it but would really prefer not to have to foot the bill.
With that in mind I would suggest that we refer this matter back to the WEE Management Committee to look at the figures again and suggest ways of cutting costs whilst increasing income. I would recommend that we ask the Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager (SCAM) to come up with some more ways to get the number of visitors to treble, and by that I don’t just mean opening up the toilets to the public or counting everyone three times – income needs to treble as well.“
The committee voted to ask the SCAM to develop a business plan with a view to trebling income, although it was agreed that she wouldn’t have time to do that before the meeting in January, because she’s very, very, busy doing who-knows-what.
However, Cllr Barracuda stressed that the plan must be in place before April next year and the WEE committee must include a higher income target for the next financial year. He also proposed that the WEE Management Committee be required to inform the full town council of any decisions made with regard to the WEE and to invite comment on future proposals.
Squire Teflon was not amused by the idea of other Councillors interfering with his WEE and testily told the meeting “I don’t think this is anything to do with anyone else. It’s a decision which should remain solely with the WEE Management Committee. We don’t have to answer to you. It’s my WEE and if I can continue to pull the wool over the eyes of the few councillors who serve on the committee then I should be allowed to do so without interference. I’ve had ten years of doing this, so I don’t see the need for change now.
I’d also like to point out that the reason the visitor numbers have been so low during the 2021/22 financial period is because the WEE was closed for over a year between the end of 2019 and May 2021.
The WEE is possibly, maybe, perhaps currently running at half capacity and when people start coming into the facility the visitor numbers will increase.”
Just because the WEE has been a drain on council resources ever since I saved it for the nation for a £1, which has led to the amount of town council and council tax payers subsidy increasing year on year, I don’t see any reason to stop that now.”
Councillor Patsy Knickers disagreed with the Squire saying “I think it’s absolutely right that this committee should scrutinise these figures and not just leave it to the WEE Management Committee. Income is only 20% of expenditure and with the current cost of living doom and gloom we are all going to die crisis this seems an awfully high price to pay for a few evenings of fun for a handful of residents
The WEE Management Committee is very small and I think it’s only right that ALL SaD Town councillors should be allowed to oversee the decisions made.”
Councillors voted to agree to send the budget proposal back to the WEE Committee to make alterations and to come up with a real business plan. It was also agreed that a White Elephant Enclosure Panel (WEEP), which would include the SCAM, be set up to discuss ideas in detail.
Speaking after the meeting the SCAM said “I shall be talking this over with Squire Teflon. I’m sure that between us we can alter the projected £49,000 income to a number more suitable. We wrote the numbers in pencil, so it will be easy to rub that out and write a higher figure in its place.”
SomersetClive understands that in order to combat the SCAM’s plans to fake the figures, the BeFuddled Town Councillors will be setting up a WEEP of their own, from which the SCAM and Squire Teflon will be excluded. The White Elephant Enclosure Panel Independent New Group (WEEPING) plan to meet in the next few weeks to discuss the future of the WEE.