Mistress Bones has transformed an area of her Newspaper and Tat Emporium into The Grottiest Grotto ready for the arrival of Squire Santamas tomorrow, as part of the Smalltown Shops (SS) ‘A Winter War’ Christmas Lights Switch On event.
Wedged into a small space between a Festive Display stand of Santa sacks and a shelving unit full of out-of-season holiday tat, Squire Santamas will be reading extracts from SomersetClive reporter Steve Gull’s ‘Love in a Smalltown‘ – a festive tale of how he and Mistress Bones have been diverting Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council funds into their unsuccessful Christmas events for years.
Mistress Bones said “Do you remember when Smalltown had only one Christmas Tree and the Christmas Light Switch on was organised solely by the Smalltown Chamber of Trade? Residents of Smalltown would turn up in their hundreds to watch the Switch On.
Then Squire Teflon and I took over running the event. We moved the Christmas Tree closer to my Newspaper and Tat Emporium, meaning that the George Hotel had to buy their own tree to ensure there was a tree on its traditional site.
We also made sure the event cost at least four times the amount it used to.
Come along on Saturday and hear the story in full. It will make your toes curl.
I am looking forward to inviting parents and children into my shop to see Squire Santamas, and then holding them captive until they purchase some Festive Tat.
I am absolutely delighted that, out of all the shops in Smalltown that could have hosted this story time session, it’s my shop which has been CHOSEN. This decision had absolutely nothing to do with my being one of the leaders of the SS.”