Squire Teflon’s very close friend, employer, leader of the Smalltown Shops (SS) group and the Illiberal Letters and Literature Spokesperson (ILLS), Mistress Bones, has issued an appeal on behalf of the local Illiberal Party for experienced fighters to attend a meeting at the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party ex-Teachers (and Others) as the Illiberal Party prepare for battle.
Mistress Bones said “We will be hosting an event on Saturday 3rd December to discuss ways to beat the BeFuddled Party to a pulp.
I’m sure you’re aware that the BeFuddled Party has been campaigning relentlessly over the last few years to take control of the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council.
We must not let this happen.
This will be a free event where members of our party who have great experience fighting the BeFuddleds will give advice on how to punch their lights out locally.
Come along and find out how to trap a BeFuddled Councillor in a dark alley and give them a thorough going over or share your own tips for the best way to invite a BeFuddled member out for a walk and push them off a cliff.”
SomersetClive has tried to ascertain if the local Illiberal Party are aware that the BeFuddled Party has already taken control of the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council, but we couldn’t get a reply because everyone we asked had their fingers in their ears.
Squire Teflon added “We are holding this event at Hayloft Road Palace because I thought it would be really funny to talk about defeating the BeFuddleds somewhere where they are in charge, to prove that I’m really in control.
I checked with the BeFuddled town council leader, Cllr Banish Barracuda, and he said he didn’t want to upset us by saying ‘No‘. Isn’t that nice of him?
When I had control of Hayloft Road I most certainly would not have allowed the BeFuddleds to hold a political rally in the building, but I’m delighted that the BeFuddleds don’t seem to have realised that allowing us to do so makes them look like idiots.”
The event will start at 11.30am and finish at 12.30am with an hour for lunch.