Mission ‘impossible’

It is ‘impossible’ to buy a screw anywhere in Smalltown, a local man has claimed.

David Doolittle wrote a letter to the SmalltownClive newspaper highlighting the town’s grave screw shortage. Despite scouring the shelves of his local shops, he came out empty-handed.

Mr Doolittle said: “Here is a challenge to all your readers! It is impossible to buy a screw anywhere in Smalltown. I have tried all the shops in the town centre and the likes of LIDIL. I have ventured to Dullbridge and even the excellent Improper Job does not stock them!

“I kid you not! It is impossible to buy a single screw, they are only available in the dreaded multi-packs. I’m sure it used to be possible to purchase single screws in Smalltown. I don’t need loads of the things. I will personally donate £50 to the charity of choice to anybody who can prove me wrong.”

Note: This article has been syndicated by the Clive Newspaper group and has previously appeared in DevonClive, CornwallClive, ScunthorpeClive and EastCheamClive. Names and locations have been changed to suit.

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