Confused? You should be

Confusion reigns at the Hayloft Road Palace Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party Ex-Teachers (and Others) as notice of tonight’s scheduled meeting of the White Elephant Enclosure Mismanagement Committee has vanished into thin air.

The agenda for the meeting was published on the Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council website last week, although it was credited as having been prepared by the former Smalltown Head Administration Guru (SHAG), Tanya Summer, who left the position at the end of April.

Whilst it is entirely possible that the SHAG took advice from Smalltown’s own psychic, Mystic Mick, as to what Councillors would be discussing in a meeting being held four months after her departure, this seems unlikely.

Legally, notice of meetings and agendas must be made available to the public prior to meetings, so that residents have the opportunity to comment beforehand, but all reference to the meeting – including the fact that it is even due to take place – has disappeared.

It is entirely possible that the agenda has been removed to make the necessary corrections, amending the name of the old SHAG to that of the old SHAG, but equally the meeting could have been cancelled at short notice.

The only other alternative is that the WEE committee has decided to conduct the meeting in secret, so that residents can’t comment on the Smalltown Arts and Culture Manager’s (SCAM) request for further funding – this time to update the emergency lighting at the facility, which was last updated in 2018.

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