What’s on

At the White Elephant Enclosure.

This Wednesday the WEE will be screening a film which no one over the age of 30 can possibly have missed, nor will want to see again, and which anyone under 30 doesn’t have the slightest interest in.

The Greatest Escape sees a group of Councillors held prisoner inside a theatre which is costing hundreds of thousands of pounds to keep open. They’ve been trapped for ten years and still can’t find a way out of the mess.

The film features endless committee meetings, during which the councillors discuss the operation of the theatre, all the while ignoring the elephant in the room by refusing to mention the word ‘profit’.

Who can forget the iconic scene where Councillor Jock McQueen rides a motorbike into the auditorium and suggests that the Councillors visit all the nursing homes in the area with a view to bussing in the residents to see a film. “We could bring people out to the WEE for a film showing . The theatre has full disabled access so we can have wheelchairs in there. A true captive audience.”

Listen as Councillor Barking, then chairman of the Escape Committee, agrees saying “I think the whole notion of it is spectacular as it will mean that whole group of people who have absolutely no alternative will have the chance to see films. It’s bound to be a roaring success.”

Watch in awe as a bunch of new recruits are forced to join the proceedings – will any of them mention that not a single nursing home resident has made the trip? Will they have the mettle to tell the old guard that enough is enough and that they need to make a bid to free the town residents from this burden?

Anyone wanting to book tickets will find that it is as difficult as trying to make the theatre self-sufficient as the Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager (SCAM), Debby Karmary, has added an element of intrigue to the process.

The SCAM told SomersetClive “My new marketing plan for this particular film is pure genius. I’ve made it impossible for anyone to book tickets via the website by removing the online booking system for this particular film. I’m not letting any tickets escape!”

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