Smalltown and Dullbridge Missing Person, Tim Teepee, came out from his bunker yesterday morning to support his puppet-master Horis Gonesoon, as the Prime Minister fought for survival.
“I think the PM has been doing an incredible job and he has my full support. I have absolutely no intention of resigning from my position, as so many ministers have done over the last 24 hours. Even though Horis doesn’t know my name I’ve always found him to be a good egg, so I’m not going to add my voice to those calling for him to resign. I have a very important role in the current government and I’m not giving it up. Both Horis and I are here to stay.”
A few hours later, after Horis announced his resignation, Tim re-emerged from his bunker to say “I have always said that the right thing for the Prime Minister to do, given the current unrest within the Illiberal Party towards his leadership, would be for him to resign. I’m glad he’s come to the right decision and that I didn’t have to resign my role, as so many others have done, to try to force his hand.
I have a very important role in the current government and I hope Messrs Sushi Kayak, Sadist David, Tim Tugonahat, Fliss Thrust and my own dear boss Den Malice all recognise what a wonderful job I do and will allow me to continue. I love them all – they’re all great.”