The story so far…
Squire Teflon has helped Mistress Bones with funding for her dream to bring a world record beating Olympic-sized combined swimming pool and ice rink to Smalltown, in return for a favour or two or 16,000. They have agreed to keep their relationship a secret from significant others, friends and the residents and electorate of Smalltown.
Following a hugely unsuccessful opening event, which attracted huge amounts of Town Council funding and small crowds, the world record beating Olympic-sized combined swimming pool and ice rink opened and has now closed again.
Chapter Eleven.
“Phew, it’s hot in here” she said, wiping a bead of sweat from her face.
“Well we do have all the ovens on.” he replied, “this book cooking is hard work, but I think we are just about done now.“
He replaced the lid on the bottle of correction fluid and then added “Why don’t you take your clothes off?”
“There’s no time for that. We need to get on and write the report to present to the council, telling them how this was a massive success.”
“I suppose you’re right. Now that we’ve finished the creative accounting we need to get on with the creative writing to go with it. Where should we start?”
“Let’s start by boring them to tears explaining what the original idea was.”
“But they already now what they were handing over the money for.”
“Are you sure? They’ve probably forgotten by now. Besides, it’ll fill a page.” she put the end of her pencil in her mouth and chewed it pensively.
“Would you mind not doing that? I can’t think when you do that.”
They bent their heads together and started scribbling on the sheet of paper in front of them.
“There. What do you think of this?” he asked.
‘The Smalltown and Dullbridge Duplicated Events Social Team (SADDEST) are a non-profit organisation’
“That’s a good start isn’t it? Because we haven’t made a profit.”
‘In 2015 SADDEST had a vision of providing several major attractions over the Christmas period, one of those being the World Record beating Olympic-sized Swimming Pool and Ice Rink, which has never been seen in Smalltown before (or since). SADDEST approached SaDTC with a view to them handing over lots of dosh. This received all party support (there were a few dissenters, weren’t there Cllrs Fencesitter and Proves) but Squire Teflon overruled them and a substantial grant was given to fund the project. There was a sum of money specifically for grants in a Town Council savings account and therefore it didn’t cost anybody anything.
It was stated at the time that SADDEST would welcome support from any Councillor who wished to help with the project and Squire Teflon nominated himself to work very closely with Mistress Bones.
It was also stated that it was hoped that the rink would be a sustainable project, and any funds raised in takings would go towards the next year’s skating rink, or if that was not possible the money raised from takings would be returned to the council. Whilst the initial grant was substantial, further Rinks in future would drastically reduce the initial outlay.
I am delighted to say SADDEST are in a position to run a skating rink over the Christmas period next year. There will be no requirement for further grant funding for this project. So the Town Council are not getting any money back.’
“Oh that’s excellent. It’s a bit short though. Do you think we should say some more? If we give them more detail about what a wonderful event it was we may be able to gloss over the actual figures.”
“Good idea. But let’s leave it for today. I’ve worked very hard on this first page and I think I deserve my reward now.” he stroked her arm lovingly. “Come on – on your knees.”