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Problems continue to plague The Hayloft Road Retirement Home for Bemused and Bewildered BeFuddled Party Ex-Teachers (and Others), leaving Squire Teflon punching the air with delight and crowing “Poor Old Town Council (POT) , it’s all falling apart!”
Issues with the telephone lines has meant that trying to speak to a member of Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council is like trying to get through to speak to someone at Smalltown and Dullbridge Medical Centre – i.e. impossible – something which is not helped by the lack of staff in the office.
With the Smalltown Temporary Executive Administration Manager (STEAM), Con Slurs, only working limited hours on Monday and Tuesday, due to having to travel all the way from his home in Toffshire, it has been left to the Executive Smalltown Customer Service Supervisors (ESCuSeS) to pick up the slack. In the absence of anyone to tell them not to, both ESCuSeS, who were originally employed to run the reception area and answer the phones, have awarded themselves a promotion, with Ellen Surly now the Planning Clerk and Eileen Cotton taking on the role of Acting Irresponsible Finance Officer.
To add to SaDTC woes, the issue with the telephone lines has also caused difficulties with the broadband line, leading to a lack of website updates detailing upcoming agendas and previous meeting minutes. Residents are now being informed that if they want to access the agendas for upcoming meetings then they need to do it the old-fashioned way and visit a noticeboard.
However, even if a copy of an agenda is located there is no guarantee that the meeting concerned will actually take place. Of the six meetings previously scheduled since the BeFuddled Party took over at Hayloft Road, two were cancelled and two future meetings have also been crossed off the calendar.
Local BeFuddled Party Chairman, Banish Barracuda explained “We have been reviewing the list of upcoming meetings and I’m sorry to say that we have found some of them to be offensive. As we really don’t want to upset anyone, we have had no option but to cancel them.
The upcoming Dead and Buried Board Committee meeting is a case in point. No one wants to sit around discussing dead bodies and what to do with them. It’s cruel to expect any Councillor to want to do that. Quite frankly, it’s depressing and could lead to serious mental health issues. So we’ve crossed the meeting off the calendar. “
Matters are not helped by the large number of newly-elected Councillors, ten of the 18 councillors elected in May have no previous experience of the role, and Robert NotBothered is decidely rusty. They have no idea what has gone on prior to their election, having never even so much as attended a single previous meeting and therefore have no knowledge of what has gone before. Most had to be issued with maps of the Hayloft Road area, so that they knew where they were going and, once safely in their seats, they have taken to adopting an air of being completely mystified and glancing around the room looking like rabbits caught in the headlights.
As the new Smalltown Head Administration Manager (SHAM) is not expected to take up the reins until mid-August, it begs the question will there be a Town Council left to manage?