The story so far…
Squire Teflon has helped Mistress Bones with funding for her dream to bring a world record beating Olympic-sized combined swimming pool and ice rink to Smalltown, in return for a favour or two or 16,000. They have agreed to keep their relationship a secret from significant others, friends and the residents and electorate of Smalltown.
Following a hugely unsuccessful opening event, which attracted huge amounts of Town Council funding and small crowds, the world record beating Olympic-sized combined swimming pool and ice rink is now open to the public.
Chapter Ten
As they pulled down the zipper on the outside of the small plastic marquee, which contained the world-record beating Olympic-sized combined swimming pool and ice rink, for the last time they turned to look at each other and he wiped a tear from her face.
“What’s the matter, my little love doughnut?” he asked gently.
“What are we going to do?” she wailed, “It hasn’t been quite the success I thought it would be. We’ve spread more of our own lubrication on the plastic rink than we did the proper lubricating stuff that came with it.”
“I know, I know“, he said soothingly, “but it was fun wasn’t it? Somewhere for us to meet up, out of the cold, that isn’t a car. Seems like a perfect success to me.”
“Yes, but the financial figures will show a different story won’t they? We promised Councillor Fencesitter that if we don’t plan to run the event next year we’d give the Town Council their money back. How can we do that? We didn’t make any money and there’s nothing to pay them back with.”
“Well, that’s simple enough isn’t it? We will do it again next year!”
“But the figures! We will have to present the figures to the council and they will see that hardly anyone came.”
“What do you mean? I came practically every day. It was a hugely popular event. We had children in the marquee for hours on end.”
“Yes, but that was only because once they’d paid for a single session we had to keep them in there all day to make it look popular.”
“And it did look popular didn’t it? Don’t worry about it. I will do the presentation. I can spin the facts and besides my Illiberal Party colleagues won’t argue.”
“But the figures! The figures will show that it was a failure.”
“I tell you what, how about we stop off at the treasurer’s shop on the way back to your shop and ask him for the accounting books?”
“What good will that do?”
“Plenty. I’ve got a bottle of Tippex in my pocket.”
“Oh. Is that what that bulge is. I did wonder. You mean… ?”
“Yes. With some adjustments we can make it look as if it was a huge success!”
“Won’t they notice? I don’t think the treasurer will be happy.”
“We won’t tell him about it. It’ll be another of our little secrets.”
“You really are too clever.”