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Yesterday saw almost as many people turn up in Smalltown’s Main Street as attended the Cheese Festival.
Organiser, Lady Brassy of Easton-under-Water, speaking on behalf of the Smalltown Shops (SS) group, thanked everyone for coming and managed to evade all complaints about the lack of FREE cake.
The day saw Main Street closed to traffic and stalls set up in the road. Traders attending agreed that they’d had a highly profitable day and had successfully blocked access to the actual shops in the town.
Entertainment on offer included Punch and Judy shows and a display of adults punching kids put on by the Soft Lads School of Boxing. A spokesperson for the SS said “Nothing says Jubilee more than a good old punch up, especially when it involves children. We think Prince Philip would have been proud.”
The afternoon finished with the Jubilee Junket Parade, which saw rescue services, motorbikes, a cavalcade of mobility scooters, local dignitaries and several drunks take to the streets. In true Carnivoo tradition the various groups ended up being fragmented, with huge gaps between the waves, causing an announcement over the PA system to tell people “Don’t go home yet, it hasn’t finished.”.
Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Mayor, Kelsey Dullard said “It was an honour to lead the band of local dignitaries on the route march around the town. It was also wonderful to see Squire Teflon relegated to holding a first aid box, watching from the sidelines and having to listen to the huge cheers that went up wherever Jock McCads went.”
- Note – Your reporter spent all day looking for FREE cake before being handed a stale rock cake when the event finished.