The story so far…
Squire Teflon has helped Mistress Bones with funding for her dream to bring a world record beating Olympic-sized combined swimming pool and ice rink to Smalltown, in return for a favour or two or 16,000. They have agreed to keep their relationship a secret from significant others, friends and the residents and electorate of Smalltown. It’s all go for the grand opening and Christmas Spectacle.
Chapter Eight.
The opening day of Mistress Bones’ World record beating Olympic-sized combined swimming pool and ice rink dawned early.
Squire Teflon took her hand in his and together they skipped down Main Street to take in the sights.
“Look at Main Street” she exclaimed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it so full!”
“Yes. That Helter-skelter, the roundabouts and assorted other fun-fair attractions do seem to be taking up a lot of space. Where are all the people going to go?”
“To the ice rink of course, you silly Squire!. This is going to do wonders for trade in Smalltown. The shopkeepers will be queuing up later to congratulate me.”
“And me. Don’t forget they need to congratulate me as well. Without the funding I secured for you this wouldn’t be happening. Let’s go and check out the lubrication in the ice rink marquee before it opens.”
The next morning the couple met early to sort through the papers ready for delivery.
“I can’t look.” she said. “Are we on the front page?”
“We are. And I’m on page three as well.”
“What does it say?”
“Dozens of people turned out to watch the contestant no one has ever heard of (and if they ever had they’ve forgotten who he is now) from that TV show ‘The Zzzzz Factor’ perform in Smalltown town centre on Saturday evening during a special Christmas event.
The singer performed in front of over 35 people at the Christmas Spectacle. The performance came at the end of a day of entertainment that was aimed at encouraging shoppers into the town centre and included a giant fun fair.
Organised by the Smalltown and Dullbridge Duplicated Events Social Team (SADDEST) , the event was funded with a £3,000 grant from Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council on the orders of Squire Teflon.”
“Oh, isn’t that wonderful? Such a marvellous write up. Is there more?”
“A little bit. Just a few comments from the shopkeepers in the town. It doesn’t really matter what they think. You enjoyed yourself, so that was money well spent as far as I’m concerned.”
“No. Go on. Tell me what they all thought, I’m sure they all loved it.”
He looked at her doubtfully. “Are you sure you want me to carry on?“
“Yes, yes, YES!”
“Owner of the Sweet Stack said: ‘It’s good to see something different going on, but it’s not really helped our trade beyond what we’d usually expect on a Christmas Saturday.’
Howlin Norris at G.W. Hurlings said: ‘It’s nice to see the kids enjoying themselves but I do think this event is far too big. The closure of the whole of Main Street was completely unnecessary when nothing really happened. Closing off Main Street meant people couldn’t get to the shops – I just don’t think it works.’
A spokesperson for Shoots The Chemist said:’ We had just five customers in all day. The closure of the disabled parking bays definitely made it difficult for customers to pick up their prescriptions.’
Flowers and Strings owner, Julia Scream, said’ We had a busy day but we’d usually see that anyway just two weeks before Christmas – overall, it was nothing special.’
And Les Hairdresser at Ye Oldie Candie Shoppe added that it had been ‘an average Saturday overall’ for his Main Street business.
“Oh.” she looked downcast and dejected.
“It’s not all bad news!” he said, trying to cheer her up. “Look! – your Mum said ‘We had a good day’s trade, higher than we’d usually expect on a Saturday at this time of year.’ There – see? It was a resounding success. Now. I know a way to turn that frown upside down.”
“You..you…you do?” she asked falteringly.
“I do.” he replied firmly. “I’ll need to turn your body upside down, but I promise it’ll be fun.”