New beach safety signs are being installed on Smalltown, Bream and Barrow beaches by Sadgebore District Council in time for the holiday season.
The move follows a report into beach safety at the three locations from the Really Needed Lifesaving Association (RNLA), which detected new ways to make money.
A spokescoxswain said “Our survey showed that the old signs didn’t do enough to dissuade beach users from using the beach, with visitors claiming that they weren’t clear enough. We hope the new signage, which features an advertisement for our organisation so that people give their money to us rather than the Smalltown Area Ship Hovercraft and Helicopter (SMASHH) , will finally lead to the beaches in the area becoming totally devoid of people.”
During the summer months RNLA life guards will also be in operation on the three beaches. They will be armed with AK-47 semi-automatic assault rifles, which will be used to fire warning shots above the heads of anyone who ignores the signs and sets foot on the beach.