The new Independent candidate for Dullbridge has released his manifesto for the upcoming All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council.
Count Loopy Nuclear moved to Dullbridge several years ago, arriving by boat from his native Transylvania, where politics and elections are conducted slightly differently.
His appeal for votes includes the entreaty ‘Me and you against the others – KILL THEM‘, which is an unusual way to attract voters, but could well prove popular.
Count Loopy states that the three key points which are the focus of his campaign are vandalism, GP surgeries and schools.
He plans to combat the problem of car vandalism by equipping all his supporters with baseball bats so that he ‘can get involved in and together we will succeed.‘
He also wants all schools in the area to issue daily reports about their work to a newly formed ‘Educatburu’, stating “They will do it. I am busy man.” Another key issue for Count Loopy is the poor service from GP surgeries in the area. To combat the difficulty of getting appointments in the Dullbridge and Smalltown area Count Loopy intends to “get answers by whatever means necessary”. He also wants to establish more opportunities for blood donation in the area.
The Count has come up with a novel way to get his message out – rather than deliver his leaflets to residents for them to recycle, he has been delivering them to rubbish bins in the area, thus cutting out the middleman.