Campaigning for Election.
The most important thing for candidates standing for election is ‘The Leaflet’ – this is your opportunity to either introduce yourself to the electorate if you are a new face, or, if you’re a current Councillor, remind them who you are and reassure them that you are still alive, because they won’t have seen you since the last time you campaigned five years ago and will no doubt have forgotten you exist. It is important to stress in the leaflet that you are ‘always available to address residents concerns‘, even though you don’t mean it and won’t be bothering with them for another five years.
The leaflet is also your opportunity to make as many wild claims and promises as possible. For example, the current Illiberal Party makes a big play about securing £194 million of funding to make bus transport more accessible for all in Somerset. This implies that new bus routes will magically spring up in the Smalltown and Dullbridge locality.
Unfortunately this is a classic example of ‘truth-bending’, whilst it is true that Somerset Cuonty Council applied for £194 million of funding, they only received £11.9 million and this money has already been allocated to the installation of new bus lanes in Toytown.
Make sure the literature includes only your achievements (imaginary will be fine), it is permissible to go back up to 30 years if you can’t think of any more recent ones. That pot hole that was filled in 1986 after your fellow Cuonty Councillor with responsibility for roads finally responded to your single request asking for it to be sorted out? Definitely include that.
The road crossing that was installed in 1991? You can most certainly claim that as a success – even if it wasn’t down to you, no one will be able to remember any different.
You should also claim credit for anything good that occurred during your previous term in office – even if it was absolutely nothing to do with you.
Gloss over or don’t even mention anything which you agreed and allocated funding for but that didn’t quite work out – for example: ice rinks, iron signs, gold paving, Main Street ‘events area’, jubilee tree planting, duplicated Christmas events, defibrillators – the list is endless so it’s best to keep silent.
If you must mention the White Elephant Enclosure (and I’d strongly advise you not to) be sure to refer to it in glowing terms by using a liberal smattering of words such as ‘asset’, ‘thriving’, ‘community’ and ‘going from strength to strength’. This will make it sound like a success and not the drain on Town Council budgets that it actually is.
Larger parties can easily afford the expense of shiny paper and four colour printing, and these leaflets will be provided to candidates free of charge. Unless they have the backing of Elongated Muskrat or the Transylvania Mafia, smaller parties and independents will have to show their commitment to their cause by paying from their own pocket – expect lots of black print on cheap white paper – don’t worry though, this makes it easier to recycle.
Join me again next week when I’ll be offering advice on how to make yourself look saintly as you hit the streets with your campaign.