Reports have reached the SomersetClive offices warning that Mount Teflon is again close to eruption due to a build up of pressure caused by the release of candidate nominations ahead of the upcoming elections for Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council.
Squire Teflon has expressed his displeasure after learning that the residents of Dullbridge have secured their election result without actually having to vote. With five seats available in Dullbridge and only five candidates coming forward the Town Council seats will automatically go to those candidates.
Squire Teflin fumed “Five seats. Already. And NONE of them Illiberals! What is wrong with the residents of Dullbridge?”
When it was pointed out to him that the reason none of the new Councillors are members of the Illiberal Party is because there were no Illiberal Party candidates put forward to contest the Dullbridge Ward, he raged “And whose bright idea was that?”
No one dared to share the answer.
Squire Teflon immediately recommenced work on his plan to dump Dullbridge from Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council saying “The only way I can keep control of Smalltown is if Dullbridge doesn’t exist. SaDTC isn’t here to represent the interests of Dullbridge anyway. Do any of you have the telephone number of that nice Mr Putin? I’m sure he must have some great ideas he can share to help me obliterate Dullbridge.”
Residents are once again being advised to follow the information in their ‘Protect and Survive’ booklets to keep themselves and their families safe.