HM Prison Camp Don’tins, situated in Bream, is looking for new staff to help with the day to day running of the camp.
Don’tins is an open prison for low-risk prisoners and, as such, sees a high changeover of inmates during the summer months.
However lags have long been known to complain about conditions in the camp, with some preferring to return to their previous maximum-security prisons rather than stay another night in Don’tins.
Complaints usually centre around the run-down appearance and cleanliness, however the Prison Governor, Cedric Lockemup, has responded to the criticism, saying “What people forget is that the sheds were built in 1807 to house Napolonic prisoners of war. Some wear and tear is to be expected.”
“As for the allegations that the sheds are so dirty as to amount to a health hazard – with blood stained mattresses, crud-coated kitchens, filthy toilets, mould and sticky carpets among the most common complaints – you need to bear in mind that a lot of the inmates at Don’tins have come from a period in isolation and we do our upmost to help them increase their immunity levels. By exposing them to all manner of germs they may not have encountered before we hope that, on release, they will be grateful for our efforts.”
“We are now seeking new members of staff to assist with our complaints procedures. Applicants must be able to deal with a lot of shouting, long queues and have the ability to repeat the words ‘I’m sorry, we don’t offer refunds’ on a continual basis.”