Mistress Bones of the Tat & Newspaper Emporium has advertised two new vacancies for slaves.
The successful candidates will be expected to start very early in the morning and work a minimum of four hours, delivering papers, cleaning chimneys and coal mining. Applicants will need to have their own car and a full driving licence. The position offers a handsome remuneration of £4.62 an hour, which is the national minimum wage for those aged 17 and under. Most of whom won’t yet have a driving licence.
In a surprising development her chosen method of distribution of her announcement is the same AceCrook group her close friend Squire Teflon accused, without foundation, of having edited his posts.
SomersetClive understands the Squire has left the AceCrook group in which he disgraced himself. Whilst this means he will not know of the jobs offered, it is unclear if he has been given the sack from his paper round by Mistress Bones in light of events.
Local resident Jan Popoff told our plucky reporter “Mistress Bones has as many vacancies as Squire Teflon has deliveries of Albanian Whiskey. Neither of them can keep this up for much longer.”