In a shock decision of the Finance and Misappropriation committee last night, Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council voted to change the face of a local landmark forever.
The famous four-faced timepiece which has adorned Jumbly Gardens in Smalltown’s decrepit neighbouring settlement of Dullbridge for years is to lose a face in an effort to use less electricity. Councillors voted down an amendment which would see local “nee’r-do-wells” providing power via a treadmill located nearby, following the representations of local ward members Mr & Mrs Notbothered, who felt this would detract from the “amenity” of the area.
“What * amenity?” asked Ted Stark, a local resident who’s home overlooks Jumbly Gardens. “We asked the council for an extra Christmas light to make up for the missing clock face, but they told us our traditional allocation of just one was now a local custom. The mayor suggested that providing an extra light on the clock could disappoint children“. Residents are now considering setting up a local action group, which will be applying to designate the Mayor’s reserved parking space as a Village Green as an act of defiance.
We spoke to the local drinking school, which uses the clock as its regular meeting point, but they violently declined to comment. Our reporter made his excuses and left very swiftly.