The All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council BeFuddled Party Leader Phil Crivens has responded to the news that Sushi Runak’s Illiberal Government has refused the request to allow ANYUSCC to raise Council Tax across Somerset by 10%.
The requested rise which, when added to the 27% Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council rise of 27%, plus extra funding for the Criminal Police Commissioner and Somerset Fire Service, could have seen SaD residents in an average property having to fork out an extra £200 to see less than they get already. Whilst residents were overjoyed, Cllr Phil Crivens was less so.
Speaking to SomersetClive, Cllr Crivens said “It’s fair to say I’m not a happy bunny. I’m actually a little bit peeved by it. Mildly disconcerted and rather disappointed.
If there’s one thing we BeFuddleds are good at it’s being disappointed. For example, we enter elections fully expecting to win and to see our leader, Mr errrm. Whatsisname again? You know, our BeFuddled Party Leader. Him. What’s his name? Oh yes. We fully expect to see our leader Mr Ed Balls installed as the next Prime Minister and despite all the fuss and anticipation we end up disappointed, so it’s really nothing new for us, but I have to say I’m really rather disappointed that we didn’t get permission to go ahead with the 10% increase we asked for.
We had based all our hopes and dreams on that ten percent increase and it’s heartbreaking to see them dashed once again. But we won’t give up. We won’t let a little thing like bankruptcy steal our confidence. The Our Great Leader Paddy Pantsdown was never put off by having his dreams and aspirations shattered. No. We BeFuddleds know how to crawl away under a bush, lick our wounds and come back putting a brave face on it, despite being defeated and depressed.
Unfortunately we don’t have a Plan B, we really thought that residents would be the ones to help us out of this black hole we’ve created by wasting money on ridiculous ideas, such as throwing away your deodorants, cutting back on showers, not bothering with teethbrushing and never washing clothes – all part of our green initiative ‘Smell for Somerset’, an initiative which I will admit hasn’t been too popular – but it’s early days. Still plenty of time to get involved.
I have to say that I really don’t know what we are going to do now. We are completely out of ideas. So if any residents would like to come up with any suggestions on how ANYUSCC can save money – no matter how small – I’d be really grateful.
Meanwhile, our Suitcase Holder for Finance, Sums and Uneconomic Development Councillor… Pardon? What do you mean ‘We haven’t got one?’ Who sorts out where we spend the money then? Oh. I see. Yes. I’d imagine under those circumstances it is a bit difficult to plan a budget. Where was I? Oh yes.
In light of the current difficulties ANYUSCC has set up an account on evilBay and we will soon be using it to flog off chairs, desks, pens, a recreation ground or three, and some of my old socks.
Hopefully sales will be good, because I’m not sure how much more disappointment I can take.”