Smalltown’s foremost mathematician, Karen Borderbum has warned local residents that the 23% increase in Council Tax imposed by Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council is merely the tip of the iceberg.
Speaking exclusively to SomersetClive (because we know where she lives and Media Mogul Mike Maxman doesn’t) Karen said “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s looking increasingly likely that once the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council, the Criminal Police Commissioner and Somerset Fire Brigade all go for the biggest increase permissible, when combined with the SaD TC rise, those people living in an average Band D property could well be looking at an increase of over £207.94.
Whilst it is also possible that the Government Minister for Levelling Flat, Michael Weasel, could find a few pennies somewhere to chuck at those local authorities who find themselves facing bankruptcy, any sum he sends is unlikely to make a difference.
I would strongly recommend that local residents look into taking out over 20’s life insurance policies on their nearest and dearest, because the way things are going many people aren’t going to be able to afford to eat, let alone heat their homes, so Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council’s decision to raise the estimated income for burials could well see one much needed result.
The insurance policy may even pay out enough for recipients to be able to afford to hold the wake at the White Elephant Enclosure. It really could be a win-win situation for SaD Town Council. Although less so for the residents.”