Bream mystery solved

Several small groups of men were spotted wandering around a field in Bream on Wednesday.

Local born and bred Bream resident Arthur Picnic, 98, phoned the SomersetClive hotline and told us “I baint seenuffin loike it afore, me babber. Dunno what ees doin. Wun of em, ees gorra gurt stick an ees swipin at grarse, loike it were a scythe, but there baint no grarse there! Smad.”

It all sounded very strange, and not just because of Mr Picnic’s West Country accent, so SomersetClive immediately despatched our Work Experience student, Layden-Kayden Mayden-Hayden* out on his bicycle to investigate.

Layden-Kayden returned some five hours later and reports “It’s really hot out there. Sweltering I’d say. Or perhaps humid and stifling. Or, if I get a job in the future with one of the tabloids, then it’s sultry and sticky.

Anyway, I hung around watching them for a bit but I couldn’t work it out. They had big sticks and they were hitting small balls.

Eventually I asked one of the men what they were doing and he said something about them playing a Championship game, or was it round? perhaps it was match? I can’t remember now and I forgot to take my notebook with me. Anyway, he said they were playing Gulf.

I have no idea what Gulf is. Do any of you know? Because I could always write a thrilling report about it.

As no one in the SomersetClive office has any idea how to play golf, we are going to have to leave it there.

However, Layden-Kayden said that somebody won. So that’s good isn’t it?

*Layden-Kayden Mayden-Hayden is a pupil at Queen Ethelred’s School and joined us this week to discover exactly what it’s like to be at the cutting-edge of journalism. So far we have sent him out on an important mission to collect our lunchtime sandwiches and he has also filled all the office staplers. Well done Layden-Kayden.

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