Residents in Smalltown and Dullbridge were in a state of complacency this morning after it was revealed that nothing had happened in the area over the weekend.
A spokesperson for the Department of Boredom said “We are delighted to be able to confirm that nothing at all happened in Smalltown and Dullbridge at the weekend.
We have checked our records which cover the previous 94 years, and this is entirely consistent with practically every weekend in Smalltown and Dullbridge,bwxceot for the very rare occasion when something has happened.
We can assure residents that we are monitoring the situation and should anything exciting happen in Smalltown and Dullbridge on future weekends, they will be the first to know.”
Residents have been advised not to worry that they are missing out on anything, as the liklihood of anything happening is extremely slim.
As always, SomersetClive will be on hand to keep residents abreast of anything that may happen to change this situation.