Smalltown Psychodelic Mystic Mick has reached the end of the year with his predictions and has decided to see what the tea leaves say is in store for Smalltown and Dullbridge residents.
December
OKAY. I’ve finished this cup of tea, so let’s see what the future will bring. Odd. All I can see is the bottom of the cup. A vast expanse of white china. Let me think what this means.
Got it. The All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council, which filed for bankruptcy in September, will sell Smalltown and Dullbridge to the Chinese for 94 Yen and a packet of crisps. Residents in both towns won’t see any changes as they have been living under a dictatorial regime ever since the BeFuddled Party took control of SaD Town Council.
Residents will be expected to chant “All hail Dictator Dullard and our Chinese Masters” at every given moment and will also need to hand over all their money to SaDTC to ensure that the Dictator and other members of the Town Council can be entertained at the White Elephant Enclosure watching dissidents being fed to the lions by Deputy Dictator Cruella Sherry.
MEANWHILE, Dullbridge will be razed to the ground and a new power plant built in its place. Displaced residents will be sent to Don’tins Internment Camp in Bream where they will be expected to break rocks in the hot sun. Many will say that it’s a better life than living in Dullbridge.
SPURRED on by the success of the Smalltown Pantomime Society’s production of Brother Moose, the Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager (SCAM) together with the Smalltown Culture and Arts Media Promotions Individual (SCAMPI) will programme a different Pantomime for every day of the week throughout December. All the pantomimes will have a cast of three and will see complaints from the audience, who demand refunds.
The SCAM, Susie Cookbook will say “It’s such a coincidence. Exactly the same thing happened when I was manager of the Elephant Field Theatre in Fishenham. We ended up having to refund all the ticket money then as well.”
Right. I’m giving this tea bag back to Dictator Dullard, it’s useless for predicting the future.