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As Smalltown and Dullbridge wake up on the morn of Carnivoo it is only natural that their thoughts turn to what the weather has in store for tonight. SomersetClive spoke to local Retail, Carnivoo and Meteorological Expert, Dani Morris, to get her opinion.
Ms Morris told us “You can expect a total washout today. And I know this for a fact. As well as the monsoon which will hit Smalltown in the morning you can expect a hurricane, tornado and tsunami during Sunday as Storm Zebedee brings 300mph winds, which will totally obliterate Smalltown by Monday morning.
Zebedee stretches from America, hits Ireland, hits Smalltown and then swings out into France, Guernsey and Jersey Channel Islands, Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan and Australia before petering out in Outer Mongolia. I’ve been watching the weather forecasts so I think I should know way better than anyone.
Anyone who believes the weather reports issued by the Department of Wind and Precipitation should remember that they NEVER EVER get anything right. Whereas I am always right, simply because I say I am.
People who disagree with me are WRONG. Once again I’m right you’re wrong as per usual nothing new there then. You’re all wrong. Everyone is wrong. You’re all muppets who don’t have a clue about anything.
I’m done with this now. Except to say I’m always right. Even when I’m wrong.”
Residents of Smalltown reading this article are advised to open their curtains to check they haven’t landed in Arkansas overnight.