The 10 Councillors who bothered to turn up to the recent Smalltown and Dullbridge (SaD) Town Council (half) Full Council meeting were treated to the usual soliquay from Dictator Dullard as she detailed her August daily activities, from what she had for breakfast to her cup of Horlicks before bed.
Aware that members of the public attending SaDTC meetings are limited to only three minutes of speech and that the Smalltown Administration Guru, Katie Global, keeps a stopwatch to hand and cuts members of the public off mid-sentence if they overrun, as well as knowing that the assembled Councillors tend to yawn widely, as their eyes glaze over and Cllr. Robert NotBothered begins to snore, Dictator Dullard tried to speed-read her words. Even so her Mayoral Report lasted 49 minutes.
For those of you lucky enough to have missed it SomersetClive has produced this handy memo, which we recommend everyone reads, in case you bump into Dictator Dullard and she checks whether you’ve done your homework by quizzing you.
Dictator Dullard found August ‘interesting’, ‘quite interesting’ ‘fascinating’, ‘excellent’, and ‘super‘. Several times.
She was ‘excited’, ‘lucky’, ‘pleased’, ‘very pleased’, ‘rather pleased’, ‘particularly pleased’, and ‘really pleased‘.
And everything was ‘good‘.
On this occasion Dictator Dullard managed to only use the word ‘I’ 994 times in her speech, which totalled 1194 words.
Several Councillors had to be prodded awake in order to continue the meeting. A later agenda item detailed how SaD TC plan to sell taped copies of Dictator Dullard’s speeches to aid insomniacs, as a the latest idea for a new revenue stream for the White Elephant Enclosure.