Fridgpond Working Man’s Party has announced that Ivor Redrose will be their Prospective Parliamentary Candidate for the next General Election.
Mr Redrose is currently the leader of the Working Man’s Party at the All-New-Yet-Unimproved Somerset Cuonty Council and will be seeking a seat as the Missing Person for the newly-formed Smalltown and Dullbridge, Fridgpond Unitary Constituency (SaDFUC).
Speaking exclusively to SomersetClive, Mr Redrose said “I’m Fridgpond born and bred, never left the town, not even for a short trip. Once elected, as I’m sure I will be, because the people of Fridgpond love me and my party, I will do my utmost to build a better Fridgpond.”
We asked Mr Redrose what he planned to do to represent the people of Smalltown and Dullbridge and he said “Where? I’m standing for election in the new Fridgpond ward. What does this have to do with the places you just mentioned?”
We advised Mr Redrose that Smalltown and Dullbridge are also part of new constituency and he replied “I’m sorry. No one told me about that. I’m afraid I don’t know where they are, I’ve certainly never been there, because I’ve never left Fridgpond.”
The Fridgpond BeFuddled Party are yet to name their candidate, as they are still thinking and talking about whether or not they need to field a real candidate or if they should simply enter a sheep into the race.
Meanwhile, the identity of the Illiberal Candidate is set to be revealed in early September. Amongst the contenders is thought to be Dougal ‘Turncoat’ Rodericks, who is currently working hard to get his face everywhere, and recently set up his own Fridgpond Retail Independents Group (FRIG).
Mr Rodericks was previously a Working Man’s Party Councillor for Fridgpond, before declaring himself an Independent and finally joining the Illiberal Party. He is currently the Chairman of the Fridgpond Illiberal Group, which theoretically means he cannot put his hat into the selection ring, but with his history, who knows?
Another possible candidate is Surly Ouijaboard, who currently represents Muntspill. Ms Ouijaboard has previously stood and failed to get elected as a Missing Person in Brumingham and Brizzle, so knows exactly what to expect if she stands in SaDFUC.
Squire Teflon is considered to be a rank (very rank) outsider, it really depends on whether the Illiberal Party intend to make a strong play for the seat, or if they are only in it for the laughs.