Dictator Dullard ‘shocked’

Smalltown and Dullbridge Headmistress, Mayor and Dictator Cllr Kelsey Dullard has revealed that she was ‘shocked to the core’ after respondents to her recent ‘On the Buses’ survey told her that there aren’t any buses in Smalltown and Dullbridge.

As part of her Climate Rescue Action Plan (CRAP) and in a bid to force Smalltown and Dullbridge residents to be more green, Dictator Dullard had set up her Buses Action Group (BAG), so that she and a panel of other councillors and residents could meet to think and talk about ways to get SaD residents out of their nasty polluting cars and onto nasty polluting buses.

Dictator Dullard said “I recently asked for feedback from bus users in Smalltown and Dullbridge and this resulted in a handful of responses with a few people saying they are unhappy with the local service.

Having contacted some of the respondents to ask exactly why they were unhappy, several told me that it is because there are no local bus services.

This came as something of a shock because when I am driving around in my car I quite often drive past queues of elderly folk waiting at the bus stops and I also always seem to get stuck behind those big white double-deckers which appear to have no passengers.

One of the things I have learnt from my survey is that the wheels on the bus go round and round. Which is very good,good, because if they didn’t the buses wouldn’t go anywhere, and I wonder if this is what has happened to the buses of Smalltown and Dullbridge? The wheels on the buses aren’t going round and round.

One of the saddest stories I heard is one man waited at a bus stop for over three weeks and not a single big white bus stopped. Anyone would think they are working on a private contract or something. I really don’t understand it.

I therefore feel that, at this time, there is no point in my continuing with BAG, there is no point wasting my time supporting a promotion campaign for public transport until there are suitable photographic opportunities.

SomersetClive has checked our archives and we can exclusively reveal that the last time Smalltown and Dullbridge had a reliable bus service was 9th March 1973.

2 thoughts on “Dictator Dullard ‘shocked’

  1. My hypothesis is that there are no buses to save residents worrying about the prospect of “going out tomorrow and be running over by a bus”. This removes the excuse for not giving up smoking / eating lard / reading the Daily Mail.

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