Smalltown and Dullbridge Town Council”s White Elephant Enclosure Mismanagement Extraordinary Committee meeting held last night, saw BeFuddled Party Councillors agree with Squire Teflon that his White Elephant Enclosure was a very important asset and should continue to be saved for the nation for the next five years, no matter how much it costs.
Having reviewed the Top Secret (No Longer Secret) Report produced by the Top Secret Consultants, appointed by Deputy Dictator Sherry’s Top Secret Human Resources Sub-Committee, which detailed everything Squire Teflon has told the Top Secret Consultants to write about the WEE, Councillors felt that the recommendations would definitely secure the future of the WEE and could even, if the wind is blowing in the right direction on a night when the blue moon is slightly obscured by flying pigs and tomorrow will be the twelfth of never, need a much smaller subsidy from SaD Town Council in the 2023/24 budget.
The first step to achieving this will be finding a replacement for Squire Teflon’s Most Magnificent Employee, the Smalltown Culture and Arts Manager (SCAM). Cllr Sherry’s Top Secret HR Committee announced to Cllr Sherry’s White Elephant Enclosure Panel (WEEP) that they intend to appoint two SPAMs to replace the SCAM.
The Smalltown Provisional Arts Manager (SPAM1) will be appointed on a temporary contract whilst candidates are sought for the position of the Smalltown Permanent Arts Manager (SPAM2). Hopefully SaDTC will have better success finding candidates for these roles than they have had finding a replacement Smalltown Head of Accounts and Malfeasance (SHAM).
Councillors also agreed with the Top Secret Consultants suggestion that in order to generate more income they put prices up across the board for community users, commercial hires, tickets, the contract to run the cafe and anything else that can possibly be sold.
These recommendations are likely to lead to a loss of community users and commercial hires, as well as a further drop in ticket sales. If potential users struggle to make a profit with so few ticket sales currently they are hardly likely to see sales increase if the prices go up.
Meanwhile Blitz Cinema owner and Theatrical Entrepreneur Padraig Irishh’s bid to take over the WEE appears to have slipped into Cllr Sherry’s own spam folder, never to be seen again, and the WEEP remains unable to answer the question it posed. What is a White Elephant Enclosure?
See SomersetClive’s previous reports :-